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January 2, 2016

The CNA-Nurse Battle

By | Nursing | 11 Comments

Hi Kids.  Welcome to another edition of ShowMeYourStethoscope’s Blog.  I am your host.

Dr Gregory House..

We are going to talk about my research into a medical mystery which has confused us for literally decades.  I have naturally figured out the answer.  That is what Dr House Does.  After he screws everything up for the first 50 minutes.

This morning, I rose from my bed, grabbed my cane, popped 7 vicodin, and a skinny latte.  When I logged on to facebook I saw a storm brewing on my favorite group,house4 Show Me Your Stethoscope.  It was created by some sorry-ass loser nurse who cares about people and stuff.  Ain’t Nobody Got Time for That!

Apparently, someone put up a pretty unflattering picture of me, with a quote about how a CNA in the family had diagnosed my patient before I entered the room.  There was a total shitstorm going on.  I mean…the indignant CNA’s and Nurses coming out of the woodwork almost knocked me over.

They were horrified that anyone would post something so offensive on Facebook.  CNA’s are AWESOME! They ROCK! Why would they say house3anything like that? The nurses were out in droves, shielding the CNA’s from the bullying.  I decided I would inject some sarcasm into the situation to stir it up a little, but then I saw that weakling, Janie Harvey Garner attempting to use logic and REASON to calm the situation down, saying that it was a joke, and that none of them would be mad if the Meme had named nurses instead of CNA’s.  I laughed so hard I fell off the couch.  Didn’t she understand that that would never work? The CNA’s were incensed.  The nurses were righteously indignant.  Everyone housewas unhappy.  It was a truly perfect moment. Both teams were losing!

So Janie deleted the post after only 30 minutes.  Coward.  This is why I didn’t have any nursing personnel do anything important on my show.  They argue so much that I would prefer to pay physicians to hang my drugs and do phlebotomy.

Almost immediately, another post went up. Nurses liked it.  CNA’s liked it.  Janie was probably laughing her entire ass off in Hillsboro, MO.  The post said “The look you get when you enter your patient’s room and the patient’s family member who is a nurse has already diagnosed the patient.”

Which was exactly what the other post said, except it referenced CNA’s.  There was no butthurt.  They shared stories, talked about missed diagnoses (obviously none of my patients) and mistakes.  They joked.  It was fun! They laughed at themselves.  There wasn’t a single conflict on the entire thing, and as of this writing it has been up for almost eight hours.

So why didn’t anyone get angry?house7

Oh, because it is OK to poke fun at nurses.  Just not anyone else.  Not patients, not doctors, not CNA’s….. just nurses.  As a matter of fact, why don’t you tell me about the lazy-ass nurses you work circles around again? Because that is really professional.  As you were screaming about how you were an awesome CNA and worked really hard, and all that…… and never even thought to come and protect your nurse coworkers from internet butthurt.

So, if Nurses are here for everyone else to poke fun at, is that why we can’t get anyone to take them seriously?

Great.  More money for Vicodin and hookers.

Until next time…

Go To Hell,


Dr House



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